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Heiliges Romisches Reich

Hmmm. A German Pope. Interesting.

Seems the two mixed together can be a little unstable. On Christmas Day, in the year 800, Pope Leo III placed a crown atop the head of Charlemagne, King of the Franks. With all due respect to Otto the Great, many historians consider this event the birth of the first Reich–an unholy alliance between church and state that ruled over Europe for a thousand years.

Let’s hope Pope Benedict XVI isn’t as spooky as he seems to be. Pope John Paul II did wonders for his homeland of Poland, and Germany could sure use as much help from former Hitler Youth member Joseph Ratzinger as possible. Unemployment is skyrocketing out of control over there right now. Any contributions from the Vatican would, I’m sure, be greatly appreciated. (In all fairness to His Holiness, membership in the Hitler Youth was mandatory. I just get a kick out of the irony.)

I must say I’m a little disappointed none of the cardinals wrote me in. I would have been a great Pope. Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to keep persevering until, someday, I become Emperor Hermann the Malevolent I, Lord of the Universe, Protector of the Young, Ruler of All He Surveys.

Until then, enjoy Pope Sandman.