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Probst would’ve been proud.

Every July 4th weekend, I look forward to spending some time at my Aunt Terry’s place, a good-sized chunk of land alongside Turtle Creek in Beloit, Wisconsin. Activities include camping, kayaking, and my personal favorite - Survivor.

Terry and her husband, Gary, invest a lot of time and energy constructing competitions - physical and mental - that test the competitors’ wits and stamina. It’s all in good fun, of course, with a minimal entry fee of $5.00 just to make it interesting.

This year, with all but one event remaining, I enjoyed a substantial lead in “points”. Unfortunately for Yours Truly, the final event consisted of a lengthy obstacle course that culminated with an all-out sprint of roughly 40 yards or so - in the creek! As many of my friends can attest, I’ve sadly become somewhat of a land-whale in recent months. As expected, I just couldn’t maintain full speed for the entire obstacle course. July 4th newcomer Lexi, taking full advantage of her youthful vim and vigor, made up the difference in points by posting an impressive time on the aforementioned obstacle course, meaning I was forced to settle for a close second-place.

Damned love-handles!

Anyways, congratulations Lexi. Well-played. Watch out for a leaner, meaner Hermann the Malevolent next summer!