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Holy crap! Am I dying or something?

I received a bit of shocking news this past Saturday night. During the weigh-in ceremony for this summer’s fantastic “Biggest Loser” competition, I was surprised when the scale revealed my official weight to be 219 lbs. As many people are prone to do, I made a New Year’s resolution last New Year to get back in the Bally’s habit - and, as many people are prone to do, I made it happen for all of a month. Point is, the scale at Bally’s had me averaging about 10-15 pounds higher than what my official weigh-in on Saturday did. Similarly, the last time I stepped on my dad’s scale back home, I was at an even 235.

Hmmm…

Knowing that I’ve done absolutely nothing that would explain my sudden change in weight these past few months (quite the opposite, actually), I decided I’d better get my own equipment just to be sure. So I picked up a shiny new scale this afternoon and took a look. Guess what? 218.5 pounds!

What’s going on here? I know for a fact that my pants certainly aren’t getting any looser, and until the competition officially began, I definitely hadn’t been eating healthy! Either my few remaining muscles have been replaced with fat cells, both my dad’s and Bally’s scales were wrong, or I have some sort of disease that’s eating me from the inside out.

Personally, I hope it’s the second one.

I am so gonna win…