February 12, 2008
Political Update
Yup, Big Brother's back. Love it, love it, love it. This year, the crafty devils behind the greatest reality tv show of all time decided to match everybody in the house with their supposed "soulmates". And how could Big Brother possibly figure out who qualifies as soulmates to 16 total strangers, you ask? Why, it's quite simple. See, all one has to do, apparently, is fill out an "extensive" questionnaire during the casting process, and presto! Soulmates! Seriously, it's that easy. And can you think of a better way to facilitate televised sex than forcing aforementioned soulmates to share a bed and play the game as a team? Not I, my friends! Gosh, for my money, that's more than enough frills 'n thrills for one season, don't you think?
But wait! There's more! Added to this steamy mix is a real-life couple trying to keep their relationship a secret from their housemates. The Big Brother producers wouldn't be devious enough to inform them that their profiles actually matched better with two other people now, would they? Why, yes! Yes, they would! So guess what, loving young couple? You get to spend the next three months watching each other share a bed with someone else who just so happens to be more apt to make a meaningful connection with your beloved mate than you! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Congratulations!
There couldn't possibly be anything else out of the ordinary, could there? Well, not unless you consider throwing two recently separated lovers who had been together since they were children and who just recently broke up because the dude joined the military and then cheated on his life-long sweetheart who was crushed and broke it off with him making him realize he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and desperately wants to win her back even though she's devastated and now hates his cheatin' ass together into one house on television for all to see as "out of the ordinary". And there's no way those heartless Big Brother schemers would force these two people whose love was forever tainted to share the same bed as soulmates, is there? Yes! Absolutely! You want a shot at half a mil, young lady? Then you get to spend 3 months in bed with the guy who broke your heart into a million pieces! Yaaaay!!!!
Oh, and by the way - there's a game to be played.
Greatest. Show. Ever.
