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Land of the Lost

Oh, Brother.

In what may very well have signalled the beginning of the end for what used to be one of my favorite shows, Adam Jasinski, the pride of New Jersey, was somehow crowned as the new Big Brother champion earlier tonight. A far cry from the glory days once dominated by the cocky self-confidence and Machiavellian ingenuity of Dr. Will Kirby, this season’s winner claimed the big prize by fumbling his way through the game a tiny bit better than all the other knuckleheads fumbled their way through the game. I swear - this was the most busted up collection of sad sacks they’ve ever had on this show. Idiots, the lot of them. Even the “winner” - and I use that term loosely - didn’t seem to have a clue. Seriously, the guy apparently does some work for autism organizations out in the real world, yet he still thinks it’s appropriate to unleash this little gem? What a dummy. Congratulations on the half mil, Adam. I’ve got a bridge to sell ya.

Big Brother 9: ‘Til Death Do You Part should be used as a not-so-shining example of what happens when reality gameshow producers only focus on casting physically attractive young hipsters (with one glaringly pathetic exception) in an effort to win viewership. Sorry, folks. Doesn’t always work out that way. A game played out within the context of a reality tv show is only as entertaining as its contestants make it, and this season’s weekly promo commercials were decidely more exciting than the trash tv banality offered up by the dullards inside the house over the span of the last two yawn-inducing months. That’s not a very good sign at all, and it’s time to get your head back in the game before your rapidly disappearing audience completely deserts you, Allison Grodner. I want my old Big Brother back.