May 10, 2008

A thousand words

No commentary on the Democratic superdelegate developments here. I just got a kick out of these two pictures CNN decided to use for this story. Hilarious. How very Drudge Report of them.

February 07, 2008

Invasion

"Europe's future currency, the euro, will be no less stable than other key currencies. A strong and stable euro is a further contribution by Europe to maintaining the stability of the international monetary system and to promoting prosperity throughout the world economy." - Theodor Waigel, 1997

Welcome to the future.

February 7, 2008

1 euro equals 1.44846 dollars

October 07, 2007

The Idiot Box

The Ems Dispatch would like to wish a happy 11th anniversary to the Fox News Channel today. It's now been 11 solid years of flashy graphics, worthless terror alerts, talking heads who like to yell, and a steady stream of propagandistic partisan bullshit.

Congratulations, Fox News Channel. Way to keep it real. Hopefully you can help keep this country split right down the middle for another 11 years. Our founding fathers would be so proud.

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it."

September 21, 2007

The 48th President of the United States

Just wanted to send some best wishes to my friend, Dan Cody, who recently decided to throw his hat into the political arena. Dan is running for a seat on the Milwaukee County Board of Supervisors, 15th district.

Good luck, Dan! We're all pullin' for ya'!

September 07, 2007

Verschuldung

Wanted to send some props over to the Fatherland for showing some spine by opposing the ill-advised calls for an economic boycott of Israel. The move, of course, shouldn't - and didn't - go unnoticed. While such gestures aren't always the most popular things in the world among their European allies, it's nice to know the underlying acknowledgement of an unpaid debt still has an influence on the economic conscience of post-war Germany.

August 20, 2007

Grand Ol' Birthday Party

Birthday wishes to Congressman Ron Paul, who should be doing much better than he is. This is your boy, Republicans. He's the type of candidate that anti-Iraq War conservatives might like. Check him out.

August 19, 2007

The Golden Age

A few years ago, I took a business writing class over at UWM. One of our projects involved leafing through a selection of political opinion pieces in an effort to outline the various rhetorical tactics employed by the authors to convey their points. One of the articles we read can be seen here. Whether or not one agrees with this fella's conclusions, he certainly raises some interesting questions.

I hadn't thought about this for quite a while. Then the other day, I happened to notice the current market value of gold, and it made me recall this piece. It's truly stunning how high gold has risen since the euro made its grand entrance on the international economic stage on New Year's Day, 1999. It was $287/ounce then, and it's around $650/ounce today. Does it really mean anything? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But it's certainly noteworthy, and it'll be interesting to watch its performance as oil futures remain volatile and the dollar continues to fall.

August 16, 2007

Babel

It sucks to be a dollar these days. Going to Europe anytime soon? Might wanna use plastic. It's gettin' pricy again, as the euro steadily recovers from the gut shot delivered by France in 2005's constitutional vote.

August 16, 2007

1 euro equals 1.34202 dollars

June 17, 2007

All for one

Stop fighting it, Europe - just let it happen. Lay back, relax, and let it happen.

Look into my eyes - you're feeling sleeeeeepy...

June 07, 2007

Drive-thru politics

A buddy of mine sent me a handy little link recently. Don't have time to study up on your presidential candidates? Try this.

Building a bridge to the 12th century

The Ems Dispatch would like to wish a very happy 908th anniversary to the brave knights of the First Crusade. On this date in 1099, the Crusaders launched a month-long siege against the city of Jerusalem, which culminated in its overthrow and the establishment of the Kingdom of Jerusalem - a Christian kingdom that would last only two centuries. Upon the successful conquest of the city, the Crusaders unleashed one of the most brutal bloodbaths in history, as they slaughtered nearly every inhabitant of the city - Muslim, Jew, or Christian - that they saw.

(slow-clapping)

Way to go, Crusaders. If nothing else, you proved that even decisive military victories over Muslim-controlled strongholds mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. But hey - maybe this time it'll be different, right?

February 28, 2007

Partyin' like it's 1999

Where the hell was this John Kerry back in 2004?!?

Nice timing, Senator Kerry. President Bush sends his thanks. Maybe you should challenge Joe Frazier for his heavyweight championship too, eh?

February 15, 2007

Caution - No Spin Zone!

This is a little late, but then again, so is FOX, so I guess it's only fitting...

Let's get a final tally on those FOX News 2006 predictions, shall we?

Charles Krauthammer
1. Fidel Castro dies, regime unravels. Cuba becomes favorite American resort.

Wrong!

2. Iran announces intention to acquire nukes. Security Council does nothing.

Developing nuclear energy and "acquiring nukes" aren't exactly the same thing. And I wouldn't say the UN has done "nothing" on this issue either, so...

Wrong!

3. Assad regime in Syria overthrown.

Wrong!

4. Brokeback Mountain seen by 14 people, wins Academy Award for Best Picture.

Wrong!

Mort Kondracke
1. Khalilzad pushes Iraqis to form stable government.

I guess so.

2. Iraqi security forces win battles.

I'll let that one slide, too.

3. Zarqawi killed.

Good call, and good riddance.

4. U.S. troop levels down to 100,000 by end of '06.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Fred Barnes
1. U.S., UK, India, Japan ally to combat Islamic extremism and nuclear proliferation.

There's enough truth in there to make it work.

2. Iraq emerges as Arab democracy, recognizes Israel, exchanges ambassadors.

Wrong!

3. Anti-mullah protests in Iran.

Yup.

4. Dems win House and Senate seats but have control of neither.

Wrong!

5. Bush job approval reaches 50%.

Wrong!

6. Democratic star is Russell Feingold.

Wrong!

7. Republican star is George Allen.

Wrong!

8. Arnold wins re-election.

Yup.

9. No charges in Abramoff scandal.

Wrong!

10. New England Patriots win Super Bowl.

Wrong!

11. University of Texas wins Rose Bowl.

Yup.

So that's 7 out of 19. That's pretty good...

...FOR ME TO POOP ON! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! FOX SUCKS!!!

June 20, 2006

I'm pro-life. You?

This is amazing. If it's true, score one for science.

April 16, 2006

Tony Blair hates America

Lousy Anglo-Commie.

As suspected, Tony Blair is no different than his fellow "Old Europe" buddies - he hates America. According to reports, Blair wouldn't send British troops should the US invade the Persians.

What's up with that, Tony? Why are you such an America-hater? You're either with us or you're with them. Don't make us put you in the Axis of Evil! I love English muffins - I'd hate to have to start eating Freedom muffins.

March 08, 2006

Lethal when used

Now that's more like it!

February 07, 2006

Irony

I like to check the sources of this blog's traffic from time to time. One that jumped out at me was a search string from Google. It read: "stupid zionist - angela merkel".

Nothing to say about that, really. It just struck me as odd.

And ironic.

February 04, 2006

The Final Countdown

Looks like the IAEA will make good on its threat to report Iran to the U.N. Security Council. We're inching ever so closer to a scoring update on Charles Krauthammer's 2006 prediction #2:

"2. Iran announces intention to acquire nukes. Security Council does nothing."

How exciting! It's like that break right before the fourth quarter starts at the Bradley Center, where you run out for one final bathroom break and get one last soda or slice of pizza. This one's comin' down to the wire, baby!

In case anyone was wondering, India did, indeed, support the IAEA's decision. That's good news.

February 02, 2006

"...neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire."

Happy 1,044th anniversary to the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation. On this date in 962, Pope John XII placed the crown pictured above atop the head of Otto, ruler of the East Frankish kingdom. As a result, history refers to him as Otto I, the Great - the first in a line of German imperial titleholders that would last until the old Reich's dissolution at the hands of Napoleon in 1806.

Otto's coronation, in a sense, marked the beginnings of the European map we recognize today. Over 160 years earlier, Pope Leo III had essentially revived the ancient Western Roman Empire when he crowned the Frankish king Charlemagne Imperator Augustus. Charlemagne's bloody campaign of expansion and religious conversion stretched the borders of his empire to include much of mainland Europe. Years later, his empire was split among three of his grandsons by the Treaty of Verdun. The eastern portion, pictured below in blue, was given to Louis the German. It is this region, roughly encompassing today's Germany and Austria, over which Otto the Great would someday rule, and which ultimately expanded into the massive territory that later centuries would label the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation.

The Holy Roman Empire, in my humble opinion, is a classic example from the history books of why the separation between church and state is of such paramount importance. Nearly a millennium of both conflict and cooperation between papal/ecclesiastical factions and European nobility gave us such memorable events as the Investiture Controversy, the Thirty Years War, and those happy little foreign relations projects known as the Crusades. Malfeasance cleverly packaged itself under the banner of the Cross, with each party involved manipulating the other in a perverted political scheme to claim legitimacy at the expense of - who else? - the peasantry.

January 30, 2006

72-25

Well, I guess that's that then. Soon-to-be Justice Alito, please remember - executive power does NOT equal absolute power.

January 25, 2006

Update!

There's relevant info to report! Let's look at Fred Barnes' 2006 prediction #1:

"1. U.S., UK, India, Japan ally to combat Islamic extremism and nuclear proliferation."

Uh-oh. That pipeline deal might test US-Indian solidarity when it comes to confronting Iran on its nuclear program. Let's see what happens...

January 13, 2006

Did he call glass on that one?

I'm begrudgingly awarding a point to Mort Kondracke in the "Fox News Special Report 2006 Predictions" competition. I say begrudgingly, because Mort's prediction couldn't have been any more ambiguous. It's straight out of the "Well, no shit!" category. Let's take a look:

"1. Khalilzad pushes Iraqis to form stable government."

This is such a wussy prediction. Isn't Khalilzad the Ambassador to Iraq? Shouldn't one of his job requirements, especially in "post"-War Iraq, be to "push Iraqis" toward stability? And what exactly does "push" mean? He's an ambassador. Ambassadors are diplomatic representatives. And does Mort mean a stable government will actually be achieved, or that Iraqis will simply be "pushed" towards that end goal?

Whatever. I'm rambling.

Anyways, my personal misgivings about the "bullshit meter" of this particular prediction aside, I'm gonna go ahead and grant Kondracke a point based on the following release found on the International Information Programs website:

"Statement by Ambassador to Iraq Zalmay Khalilzad and General George Casey

May God Bless the People of Iraq."

There you have it. That's close enough. Since Khalilzad is working through various channels with and supporting the Iraqi police, he's technically "pushing" the Iraqis toward stability. Weak? Hell, yeah - but so was this lame ass prediction. Way to go out on a limb, Mort. One point for Kondracke!

Mort Kondracke
Record: 1-0
Winning percentage: 100%

Season Standings
Barnes 100% 1-0
Kondracke 100% 1-0
Krauthammer 0.0% 0-0

January 12, 2006

Fox News 2006 Predictions Breaking News!

There's pertinent information to report! Let's quickly review Charles Krauthammer's 2006 Prediction #2:

"2. Iran announces intention to acquire nukes. Security Council does nothing."

While Iran insists it's only interested in nuclear technology for non-military purposes, let's be real - any theocracy whose president has publicly announced a desire to have Israel "wiped off the map" probably shouldn't be taken at their word. Iran has now broken United Nations seals and forced negotiations with the EU to crumble. The EU leadership now seems willing to dump the problem in the Security Council's lap.

For scoring purposes, Krauthammer can only score a point IF:

1. Iran specifically announces its intention to acquire nukes.

AND...

2. The Security Council does nothing.

Since this is my game, I will decide what exactly "nothing" entails. I have a sneaking suspicion that anything short of full-scale war would constitute "nothing" in Krauthammer's eyes, so I'll do what I can to make my own fair and balanced judgement.

Stay tuned, kids!

January 11, 2006

Girl Power

I have to admit - I'm a little surprised at Chancellor Merkel thus far. She hasn't exactly bent down and kissed Bush's feet yet, as many of her critics feared during last year's bitter federal elections. She's called out Rice on the holding of a German citizen, and more recently she's suggested that Guantanamo should be shut down. Pretty ballsy, Angie!

Of course, that could all be a bunch of fluff leading up to her meeting with the President in Washington in a few days. Perhaps she's just stirring the pot to let Bush know she's a legitimate player that deserves some respect. Perhaps she's walking a harder line than expected because of some arrangement she made with her grand coalition partners, the SPD. Or perhaps she realizes Schröder actually had some game when it came to international politics. Who knows? Too early to tell. Interesting, nonetheless.

You go, girl.

January 04, 2006

Fox News Special Report 2006 Predictions Update #1

Here we go...

Congratulations to Fred Barnes, the early leader in Hermann the Malevolent's "Fox News Special Report 2006 Predictions" competition.

Since our three contestants don't all have the same number of predictions, we'll be awarding the trophy to the competitor with the highest winning percentage at year's end. While that may sound like it puts unfair pressure on those with larger amounts of predictions to nail, I couldn't care less. This is my game, and it sounds fair and balanced enough to me. Good luck to all the contestants.

First up - Fred Barnes' prediction #11. Let's review:

"11. University of Texas wins Rose Bowl."

Good call, Fred. A dramatic touchdown by the Longhorns with less than a minute to go in the game secured not only the national title for Texas, but also the early lead for Fred Barnes.

Fred Barnes
Record: 1-0
Winning percentage: 100%

Season Standings
Barnes 100% 1-0
Krauthammer 0.0% 0-0
Kondracke 0.0% 0-0

January 02, 2006

Fox Televisionaries

So I stopped by the most fair and balanced news source I could find for a few minutes tonight. That would, of course, be Fox News. I love Fox News. Why? Because, unlike those pinkos over at CNN, they love America - they really love America. On tonight's stellar edition of Special Report, several of the fellas made their predictions for 2006. I've taken the liberty of listing them here for your viewing pleasure:

Charles Krauthammer
1. Fidel Castro dies, regime unravels. Cuba becomes favorite American resort.
2. Iran announces intention to acquire nukes. Security Council does nothing.
3. Assad regime in Syria overthrown.
4. Brokeback Mountain seen by 14 people, wins Academy Award for Best Picture.

Mort Kondracke
1. Khalilzad pushes Iraqis to form stable government.
2. Iraqi security forces win battles.
3. Zarqawi killed.
4. U.S. troop levels down to 100,000 by end of '06.

Fred Barnes
1. U.S., UK, India, Japan ally to combat Islamic extremism and nuclear proliferation.
2. Iraq emerges as Arab democracy, recognizes Israel, exchanges ambassadors.
3. Anti-mullah protests in Iran.
4. Dems win House and Senate seats but have control of neither.
5. Bush job approval reaches 50%.
6. Democratic star is Russell Feingold.
7. Republican star is George Allen.
8. Arnold wins re-election.
9. No charges in Abramoff scandal.
10. New England Patriots win Super Bowl.
11. University of Texas wins Rose Bowl.

In addition, Krauthammer said Alito will be a winner, and the NSA investigation, while messy, will result in the American people supporting the President's right to protect us by any means necessary.

Best wishes to all the Fox News talking heads. If I could get in on this little "office pool" action I would, but I haven't sold my soul to the devil - er, Rupert Murdoch - like these guys have. Oh, well. Good luck, anyways!

My prediction for 2006? Fox News will continue to be fair and balanced - except for when it's not.

November 27, 2005

The more things change...

On this date in 1095, Pope Urban II introduced a controversial policy at the Council of Clermont that would forever cement the nature of Muslim/Christian relations. Urban, concerned about the spread of Islam, called on all Franks - knights and peasants alike - to reclaim Jerusalem. Promising eternal life in exchange for military service, Urban set the stage for what would become one of the most tragic land-grabs on record - the First Crusade. Using Christianity as a defense, the Crusaders unleashed a barbaric campaign of terror throughout the heart of the Holy Land that still resonates in the Muslim world to this very day.

It's amazing how those terrible events of nearly a millenium ago have really done nothing to end the centuries-old power struggle in the region. Here we are in the year 2005, and we're still waging war against the Muslim world. The reasons have changed, the justifications have changed, and the exact definition of the enemy has changed, but the core combatants have remained the same - Islamic militants vs. Western Civilization. As much as the United States has tried to convince Muslims that we are fighting terror, not Islam, the rhetoric that fueled the bloody Crusades can still be found in the language our leadership uses while discussing the War on Terror. Let's check out a couple quotes from W:

"This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take awhile." - September, 2001

"...these militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region, and establish a radical Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia." - Veterans Day, 2005

I don't have a political point to make here. Justifications for the Iraq War can range from the plausible to the absurd, and I'm not trying to spark that debate. I just find it interesting how so little has changed in the last 1,000 years. No, we don't impale Muslim children on spits and cook them for dinner like the Franks did at Ma'arra during the First Crusade, but we've made it perfectly clear that "collateral damage" will not impede our military ambitions. Today we find ourselves in the middle of a perpetual war, and I sincerely hope we can find a practical and realistic way to get ourselves out of it.

November 22, 2005

Ever get that feeling someone's looking over your shoulder?

After being sworn in as Germany's new Chancellor, Angela Merkel (right) officially starts the countdown on her cluttered new grand coalition government, as vice-Chancellor Franz Müntefering (left) hovers closely. Watch out for new elections sooner than you might expect, folks. The SPD are some crafty devils.

November 07, 2005

Class Warfare

Goodness.

France's impoverished lower class, many of them descendants of immigrants, have been raising some hell for well over a week now. Not surprisingly, the euro is takin' a tumble.

November 7, 2005

One euro equals 1.17862 dollars

Get it together, Frenchie.

November 01, 2005

And the hits just keep on comin'...

Good lord.

Could things get any worse for the Social Democrats? After already losing the chancellorship in the hotly contested federal elections a few weeks ago, probable new vice-chancellor Franz Müntefering just called it quits as SPD party chairman following an inner-party election fiasco. Meanwhile, Germany still can't get a genuine grand coalition government in place. What a mess!

I can't believe the SPD is getting bitch-smacked like this. It's sad to watch, really. This is one of Germany's oldest political parties. This is the only party that had the courage to vote against Hitler's notorious Enabling Act.

Seems the United States aren't the only ones dealing with an ideological stormfront on the horizon.

October 30, 2005

Hearts and Minds

The Discovery-Times Channel has a great show you should all check out sometime. It's called Off to War, and it follows the day-to-day lives of several members of the Arkansas National Guard called into duty. Some of it takes place here in the States with their families, and some of it is filmed in the field over in Iraq. It's interesting to hear them discuss their views on the War.

One quote that really struck me was from Sgt. David Short. He was overseeing some local sheiks from the Rashadia area convene for their so-called "council" meeting. Here's what he had to say:

"A democracy, as we know it, will not work here. What I see in alot of these sheiks are just little Saddams in their own little province. The main thing I want to do here is just survive so I can leave. Whatever they decide to do with it after we go, I really don't care."

Let's hope that's not true. Let's hope the democratic process really does include the gradual transfer of de facto political power into the hands of the everyday Iraqi. Let's hope the constitution is a legitimate step in the right direction.

October 27, 2005

Playing checkers in a world of chess

Anyone catch what Iranian psycho president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had to say a couple days ago? After calling for Israel to be "wiped off the map", he unloaded this gem:

"And God willing, with the force of God behind it, we shall soon experience a world without the United States and Zionism."

Great. Just what we need - a hardliner that hates our guts at the helm of a country actively and openly pursuing nuclear capabilities. Gosh, if only we could find an enemy of the Iranians we could exploit to keep them in check.

Hmmm...

Update: Sharon calls for Iran's expulsion from the United Nations. Stay tuned...

October 24, 2005

Who killed the CCCP?

Today marks a significant anniversary in the history of the Cold War. Twenty-five years ago today, the Polish government legalized the Solidarity trade union. With all due respect to John Paul II and the Gipper, Solidarity deserves much more credit for unleashing the real death blow to the Soviet Union.

Well done, Poland.

October 12, 2005

Auf Wiedersehen

Well, it's all but official. Outgoing Chancellor Gerhard Schröder announced he will not be a part of Germany's new grand coalition government, effectively ending his political career.

I'm a big fan of social democracy, but I gotta say I'm a little disappointed with Schröder. After seven long years in office, he could never quite get Germany "over the hump" in terms of their biggest post-reunification problem - unemployment. It's somewhere around 12% right now. In one of the biggest economies in the world, that's just unacceptable. Although he did break ranks with the Social Democrats on issues of welfare reform with Agenda 2010, he just couldn't sell the German public on his vision. His attempt to help Jacques Chirac convince French voters to ratify the EU constitution was a colossal failure, and in hindsight was a rather accurate indicator of his diminishing political power.

October 09, 2005

The Winds of Change

It looks like Germany's got a new chancellor. It's the CDU's Angela Merkel. Congratulations, Angie.

After meeting with SPD officials to negotiate a deal following the hotly contested 2005 federal elections, Merkel will most likely emerge as the first female to ever hold the office. Facing the prospect of political gridlock when Germany's inevitable new grand coalition goes into effect, the SPD has spent the last few days scrambling to milk the CDU for all the concessions they can in exchange for the chancellorship. My guess is they'll pick up a couple extra seats, force the CDU to abandon its plans to help businesses fire their employees, or something of the like. We'll probably find out the exact details tomorrow.

Again, congrats to Angie Merkel, the new face of Germany. Expect the ice to thaw a bit between Berlin and Washington in the years to come. Is that a good thing? Time will tell - let's wait and see what happens with France's political climate in the next few years.

September 22, 2005

Chaos!

What an incredible story developing in Germany right now! The above picture is a group of CDU supporters shell-shocked by the stunning early election results from a few days ago. Angela Merkel and the Christian Democratic Union were once expected to crush Chancellor Schröder and his Social Democrats in last Sunday's elections.

Merkel and the CDU were then blitzkrieged by a chilling dose of reality.

People in the struggling eastern part of Germany weren't quite ready to make it easier for companies to fire their employees in a nation already wallowing in unemployment woes, and they let Merkel know it. This is an unmitigated disaster for Merkel, who should have won this election hands down. Despite her initial popularity, opinion polls clearly handed the debate edge to Schröder (sound familiar?). Once leading by some 20 percentage points, the mighty CDU barely squeaked out a margin of "victory" of less than 1 point - hardly the mandate for governmental change that Merkel (below) and the CDU were hoping for.

Now scrambling to assemble a winning coalition in Germany's parliamentary system of government, both Merkel and Schröder have a daunting task ahead of them - getting the government back on track while fighting for their political lives.

Good stuff.

September 20, 2005

"It is very important to let people know that our enemies are not forgotten."

Austrian Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal died today. A Holocaust survivor himself, Wiesenthal dedicated his life to the pursuit of Nazis in hiding. His crowning achievement was his role in the capture of Adolf Eichmann.

Simon Wiesenthal
1908 - 2005

September 18, 2005

Gerhard vs. Angie

Another pivotal moment for the Europeans today. Concerns over Germany's nearly 12% unemployment rate have pushed challenger Angela Merkel's poll numbers through the roof. Merkel and the conservative Christian Democratic Union are banking on stagnant German economic growth in recent years to carry them through today's elections. Merkel is a pro-Iraq War candidate whose political success has been somewhat of a surprise. As the picture suggests, many liberal and moderate Germans are fearful "Angie" may be another pushover European head of state for the Americans, ala Tony Blair.

But Chancellor Schröder and the Social Democrats aren't dead yet. The last couple of days have seen his numbers creep back up. As of this moment, it's virtually a dead heat.

C'mon SPD. It should be a fun Sunday morning - when I wake up in a few hours, I'll be glued to fantasy football scores and election results.

August 24, 2005

Senatus Populusque Romanus

This sunday, Rome makes its debut on HBO. I'm really excited about this series. It looks fantastic.

Interesting timing - August 24, 410, was the day Rome fell. For three straight days, the Romans watched in horror as Alaric and the Goths sacked the Eternal City. The crumbling western half of the greatest empire in the history of the world was finished by the end of the century.

Now, a millenium and a half later, I get to grab a bowl of popcorn and enjoy all the decadence and debauchery that was the Roman Empire as prime time weekly entertainment - without all the inconvenient stabbing, of course.

Wonderful.

August 14, 2005

Iron and clay

Considering it fell around $0.18 as a result of French EU constitution concerns, the euro's current position is quite impressive. In early July, Luxembourg ignored Franco-Dutch hesitations and agreed to ratify the controversial and potentially dead treaty anyway. As a result, the euro got a much-needed boost, slowly inching its way back up.

August 14, 2005

1 euro equals 1.24550 dollars

August 12, 2005

Holy Shiite!

And so it begins...

Gosh, who would have ever thought there might be a problem between the Shia, the Kurds, and the Sunni? Wasn't it supposed to be one big lovefest once Hitler II was deposed?

Here's to tunnel vision...

August 04, 2005

Terrorist emphatically denies sexual misconduct

al-Qaeda bigshot Ayman al-Zawahiri released a videotaped statement to the press earlier today, in which he vehemently denied media reports of any marital infidelity.

"Let me make this absolutely clear - I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" stated al-Zawahiri. "I would never betray my beloved twenty-seven wives like that. To do so would interfere with my noble mission of killing Westerners. Besides, girls don't even like coming down here. I mean, seriously, look around - would you want to spend any time in these caves if you didn't have to? Hell, I haven't showered in four years! Chicks start throwing up if they come within 10 feet of me!"

Efforts to obtain statements from al-Zawahiri's wives were thwarted by the hundreds of layers of clothing they are forced to wear.

Developing...

July 08, 2005

All we are saying...

I watched a fantastic documentary called Promises last night. Promises follows the lives of 7 children growing up in and around the Jerusalem area, filmed in the late 1990's, months before the outbreak of the second Intifada. The primary allure of Promises is that it tells the story of the modern Israeli/Palestinian struggle through the eyes of the children it profiles. Some of the kids are Jews, some are Arabs.

The most beautiful portions of the film are towards the end, when Daniel and Yarko, two secular Jewish twins, are given the chance to meet Faraj, a Palestinian boy living in a refugee camp outside a Jerusalem checkpoint. Once initial awkwardness falls by the wayside, the children get busy doing what kids do best - being children. After a day of fun and getting to know each other, the kids are seated in a living room and asked to speak honestly about the unfortunate situation in which they are forced to live. A touching moment occurs when Faraj, after listening to several kids' opinions, comes to the realization that this day of innocent bonding and relationship building will most likely someday succumb to the hatred passed on from generation to generation. Heartbreaking stuff.

Big thumbs up, in my book. If only we could see the world like children.

June 13, 2005

Milestones

On this date in 1967, President Lyndon Johnson appointed Thurgood Marshall as the very first African-American justice of the Supreme Court. Marshall was instrumental in the dismantling of mandatory racial segregation, and will forever be acknowledged as a champion of Civil Rights.

May 31, 2005

"Non!"

Confirming weeks of pre-referendum concerns, France rejected the very constitution it helped create this past Sunday by a rather sizeable margin. Expect Holland to follow suit, as the French rejection has tremendously shaken the European community's confidence in the validity of the proposed constitution. Back to the drawing board, boys.

An early sign of what will undoubtedly be a string of post-rejection shockwaves, Europe's currency has seen its appeal cool off, as investors' lack of confidence in the rattled financial environment of the EU has pushed the value of the dollar back up. Let's hope we can capitalize on the current attractiveness of our currency, before investors remember our massive debt and once again look elsewhere.

May 31, 2005

One euro equals 1.23479 dollars

May 27, 2005

French Fried

On this date in 1974, Jacques Chirac was appointed Prime Minister of the French Republic. One of the so-called "young wolves" of French politics, Chirac has been instrumental in the resurgence of international European prominence.

This coming Sunday - exactly 31 years later - Chirac stands to absorb the biggest political defeat of his illustrious career, as poll after poll suggests the French will most likely reject the EU constitution. Sadly for the French president, many are using the vote as a personal jab at Chirac, whose popularity has seen a dip in recent months. Unless the large contingent of undecided voters can pull off a miracle on Sunday, we may be witnessing the beginning of the end of one of the most important European political careers in decades.

May 26, 2005

Four days and counting...

You've got to be kidding me, France. What is wrong with you?

May 16, 2005

Heads or Tails?

Fellas, you have two options here:

American soldiers actually did desecrate the Quran, in which case the sign on the left makes no sense and the one on the right does.

OR...

American soldiers did not desecrate the Quran, in which case the sign on the left makes perfect sense and the one on the right is moot.

Which one's it gonna be, boys? Can't have both.

April 28, 2005

"I won't be back."

Seems the "new car smell" is all but used up in the great state of Cal-E-phone-yuh. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's approval rating has dipped to the lows once claimed by Democratic punching bag Grey Davis. It would appear the people of California, a blue state, aren't too thrilled with the Terminator's attempts to curb spending by eliminating programs.

Should have thought about that before you put a musclehead in office, you silly folks. I know what you're going to say, and you're right, you're right--Predator was a cool movie. Based on that, it's difficult for me, too, to understand why Arnie's such a lousy governor.

Oh, right. He's a meathead. Not so difficult, I guess.

April 27, 2005

Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschlands to the rescue!

In a move certain to send the Kaiser spinning in his grave, German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder, leader of the Social Democratic Party of Germany, joined embattled French President Jacques Chirac Tuesday in a desperate attempt to rally French voters behind the endangered European constitution. Opposition to the constitution's ratification has now hit a high of 62% among the clueless French voters, who inexplicably feel threatened by the idea of a united European continent. Unwilling to acknowledge the promising long-term advantages of political unity, the French have sadly succumbed to irrational concerns over short-term unemployment and the loss of sovereignty.

"We will reproach ourselves later if we let this historic opportunity to advance Europe slip by," Schröder pleaded.

Don't blow it, France. There are 24 other European countries awaiting your decision with bated breath.

April 23, 2005

Why, the Gaul!

May 29, 2005, marks a crucial moment in world history. In a pivotal vote that will likely determine the ultimate success or failure of the European unification project, the people of France will head to the polls and vote "Yes" or "No" on the proposed European constitution.

Together with Germany, France has enjoyed a powerful leadership role in the European Union since its inception. However, the results of several recent polls concerning the ratification of the new constitution have left French politicians in a bit of a panic. The percentage of French voters who say they plan to vote "No" has risen from 40% to 52% in just under 2 months. Many member states of the Union expressed fears that a French "No" vote will have a domino effect on the voting behavior of other countries still scheduled to vote, and send a death blow to the stability of the European economic community. Norbert Walter, chief economist of the Deutsche Bank, said new member states would suffer catastrophic economic consequences, such as predatory currency speculation and skyrocketing interest rates, should the French reject the constitution.

So what exactly is the problem, France? Some believe confusion over the scope of the constitution is a major factor, and blame France's political leadership with failing to properly educate the French public on its content. For example, many French citizens mistakenly believe that the constitution would directly allow for Turkish EU membership, a hot topic in France. In addition, many conflate policy proposals made by the European Commission, such as the deregulation of service industries, with constitutional language. Still others feel the constitution simply doesn't go far enough in creating political union.

Come on, France. Enough already. A ratified constitution brings credibility, political bargaining power, and guaranteed fundamental rights to your continent. It cements your place as a powerful international leader, and helps pull your less fortunate member states into the 21st century. Who cares if the original document isn't the image of perfection? Ever heard of the concept of an amendment? Seems to work for us!

Besides, you really want to compete with the United States of America? You better not throw away this golden opportunity! State sovereignty is overrated, Frenchie. Money talks.

April 23, 2005

1 euro equals 1.30735 dollars

April 13, 2005

David and Goliath

Dan, this one's for you, buddy.

Thought I'd share this fantastic t-shirt I happened upon today with you guys. Perspective is a good thing.

April 06, 2005

Hot for Teacher

Congratulations to Elizabeth Burmaster, who defeated Gregg Underheim with roughly 60% of the vote in yesterday's spring elections to remain Wisconsin's State Superintendent of Public Instruction. We can now look forward to four more years of being held hostage by that damned Teachers' Union.

Or just better funding for education than Gregg Underheim would have given us. But that's not important right now...

March 25, 2005

Happy Birthday

Today marks the 48th birthday of the European Union. On March 25, 1957, the Treaty of Rome was signed by the 6 original founding members, establishing the European Economic Community. Since then, the Union has grown to include 25 member states, and is the largest collective economic entity in the world.

March 25, 2005

1 euro equals 1.29527 dollars

March 09, 2005

Straight Up

March 9, 2005

One euro equals 1.33808 dollars

Good for American exports, bad for European goods, right? Wrong. Hasn't exactly happened that way. Despite the increasing value of its currency, the EU has yet to suffer a significant dip in international trade.

Stay tuned...

February 23, 2005

Return of the Jedi

Seems the talks between President Bush and the European Union leadership have been a little icy. While celebrating a token commitment of European support concerning Iraqi reconstruction and troop training, the President has nonetheless expressed misgivings about Europe's insistence on a strong European defense structure independent of NATO. Addressing the issue of a rising European state as a counterbalance to U.S. hegemony, Bush had this to say:

"Why, when in fact we share values and goals? As opposed to counterbalancing each other, why don't we view this as a moment when we can move in a concerted fashion to achieve those goals?"

You mean the kind of values and goals that keep the United States number one in the world? I don't think Europe shares those values, Mr. President.

Europe spent the latter half of the 20th century recovering from two devastating military conflicts. Continental destruction, coupled with the Cold War, created a need for international assistance with matters of defense. Enter NATO. Consequently, Europe has been afforded the luxury of sitting quietly aside while America has carried the bulk of military responsibilities worldwide. It's the RISK equivalent of hanging out in Australia. They haven't been inactive, mind you, just not as engaged, financially or otherwise, as their allies. They haven't had to be. Putting peacekeeping troops in the Balkans isn't quite the same as overthrowing Saddam Hussein.

Part of a strong European superpower, of course, is independent military power. Many of Europe's national arms chiefs now hope to meet in two separate forums--one for NATO, and one for the EU. Steps have already been taken to achieve autonomy. Eero Lavonen, Chairman of the European Defense Agency's national armaments directors, will oversee the development of a planned 60,000-strong EU rapid reaction force. When asked to comment on the impending rivalry between NATO and EU military organizations, one defense insider responded, "It's going to be an interesting ballgame between NATO meetings and the EDA's, and I've got my money on the latter."

We'll talk about European economics a little later.

Stay tuned...